You need the critics, because criticism can help you make improvements.
You need to be able to absorb and act on sometimes unfair criticism, while staying motivated. The people with the thickest skins aren’t insensitive jerks. These are the people who are able to take downright abusive comments, pick apart the pieces to make themselves better, and still be able to wake up with energy in the morning.
if you disregard every piece of feedback that doesn’t come with a smile, you’re missing out on a lot of growth opportunities.
criticism tends to come in a few major forms:
- Insults – personal attacks based on emotions, not reasoning. They tend to attack you or your character, not what you’re doing. I tend to ignore these unless they run in a very specific theme, in which case it’s time to do some self-reflection to see if they have any basis.
- Critiques – These are, sometimes harsh, suggestions for improvement… strip away all the abusive language and focus on the information it contains.
- Anger – If you’re doing things to piss people off, don’t be surprised when they get angry. Use this feedback to check your behavior, to see if there is anything you could change to stop it.
- Not interested – implied criticisms… the “no” you get after asking for a favor, or the unreturned calls. I think the best way to interpret these is to modify your approach and try again.
How to Develop a Thicker Skin [Scott H Young]